The tale of old man gorse

A way back in the mists of time (about 1830 AD actually) Old Man Gorse set out on a grand journey of exploration. He thought there must be a paradise somewhere in the world where one could be free from all the aches and pains of life in Scotland . Here he was plagued by insects and spider mites living on him and eating bits, plus diseases that made him feel 1000 years old and grumpy.

First he persuaded some Scottish migrants to gather some seeds and slip them in their pockets before they left home. Old Man Gorse knew he was in for an adventure because these men and women were on their way to the South Pacific colonies.

A journey to the colonies at that time took many months of seasick making voyage south through the Atlantic, round the Cape of Good Hope and across the South Indian Ocean to New Zealand. Fortunately gorse seeds don't get seasick and secondly they have a very hard seed coat so the salty water didn't do them any harm.

On arrival in NZ, the settlers removed the bush from the hills and plains, set out some fences and then dug in their pockets for the gorse seed and sprinkled it along the fence lines. This is just what Old Man Gorse was hoping for - now his offspring would see new lands.

The gorse seedlings grew and grew. The weather was warmer than back home in Scotland and there was plenty of room to grow. Also the pests and diseases that had made old man gorse so bad tempered didn't exist in NZ so all the seedlings grew healthy and strong. So strong that they were able to flower twice a year and produce even more seeds that would be Old Man Gorse's grandchildren.

It wasn't long, however, before the adventuring spirit of Old Man Gorse could be seen in his grand, grand, grandchildren. In the heat of summer seed pods crack and burst, throwing out the seeds. Lots of these hitched rides on farmers boots, wagon wheels and animals hooves to land and germinate in the wide open spaces of the farm.

Now some of our adventurous souls didn't have a very long life because they were very tasty for sheep and cattle when young and soft. But the lucky ones grew on the roadsides or the river-banks or the steep slopes where the stock didn't go so often. When they did arrive the gorse seedlings were just like their ancestor - tough and very prickly. Only a hard mouthed goat could get a mouthful and maybe keep the bush trimmed a little.

Over the years the gorse spread and spread. The farmers who had cut their farms out of the bush, now had to battle just as hard to keep it from turning into a gorse patch. This has cost farmers thousands of dollars in chemical sprays and hard work plus the grazing pasture they have lost.

But Old Man Gorse has been kept happy for the last 150 years. He has been receiving more and more letters and emails and txts from his ever increasing tribe of happy, healthy descendants.

Now, though, the letters have started to contain some complaints. They remind Old Man Gorse of his own troubles.

Landcare Research scientists keep bringing pesky gorse eating bugs to bug the gorse. There are now 6 of the pesky things making life in the colonies less than rosy.

This just goes to show that if want adventure you have to take the rough with the smooth.

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